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Greenland – Aug 2019 – Start

Yes! Below I will write about my recent travel to Greenland, having yet again realized how flaky my memory is. Or its more like a big, overflowing wardrobe, where stuff lies in heaps, dusty and intertwined. You look for a fresh pair of socks and WOAH! there they are, these wonderful snakeskin green-purple leggings that you bought in 2000’s and never seen since – there they are, crumpled and lackluster, but nevertheless oh so dear.

Let me try to get hold of some of these leggings.

Destination

In an unexplainable quest to visit ever more remote places of the earth this summer I went to Greenland to trek the Arctic Circle Trail (aka “ACT”).

Its probably the only multi-day route in Greenland that is a) accessible and b) marked, so it was an easy choice.

But it turned out to be less remote than I thought.

Day -2 / Prep

As I tried to stuff the venerable Penguin 60ltr I discovered that it disintegrated along the seams and the inner surfaces have become kind of oily. So welcome, a brand-new deuter AirContact Pro 75+10!

And Penguin goes to the backpack Valhalla..

Interestingly, this time I had much more stuff for a 8 days trek than a few years ago. What fit in 60ltr back then, now fit in 75ltr just barely.

Its inflation, stupid..

But something came extra:

  • Iridium phone + extra battery
  • 22000mAh powerbank + 11000mAh (reserve)
  • Mosquito net + cap
  • A toothbrush
  • But mostly the stuff that took a lot of space were prepackaged meals that I went so heavy on this time
  • (its a joke about a toothbrush)
All the stuff I took. +1ltr spiritus, +1.5ltr water

Day -1

I took a plane from Frankfurt to Copenhagen on SAS that cost 270€ both ways. I rose early and arrived to Copenhagen around 11:00 on August 1st. The hotel in Kastrup was about 1.2km away from the airport so I walked, having put the 23kg deuter for the first time. Ominously, it felt really HEAVY and it didn’t sit very well. At the end of these 1.2km I felt like I’m ready to camp and light a stove check in. YOU ARE NOT EVEN ON THE TRAIL YET!, I was catching breath at reception. A receptionist spoke to me in danish and ended this internal struggle.

Kastrup in the morning

After lying absentmindedly on the hotel bed at around noon and having watched the The Ballad of Buster Scruggs to the end on Netflix I found a Lyme scooter at the station and took to the city.

Day 0

It was a good idea to arrive to Air Greenland check-in counter an hour in advance: the line to bag drop-off was long and there were a few fellow backpack-travelers among clearly Inuit-looking people who took longer as they were sometimes asked to rearrange baggage to fit into 20kg weight limit. Luckily my 22.5kg backpack was allowed in (I smiled at the male staff, must have helped).

I was seated near a young woman that was going to Nuuk for her first job assignment after studies. She would have worked on a policy to combat substance abuse in Greenland’s towns and settlements, I thought that’s kind of cool.

Reading the plane’s magazine this article caught my attention. Its about Greenlandic guy who run the ACT in 37 hours and skied in 14.

Arrival in sunny Kangerlussuaq around 10:00.

Walking off the plane in Kangerlussuaq

1st surprise: IT IS HOT. It felt like +25C with a windstill and sunny skies.
2nd surprise: There are no mosquitos. (The kind man who picked me up half-way to Kellyville said “Oh, there are no mosquitos in August. Its just the Greenland Fly, lots of them. They come in August – any day now. They stay for 10 days, and then they’re gone. They only attack your face, and it swells like that!” – he showed with his palms) OKAY.. good news mosquitos are gone:D

3rd surprise: A polite note in the backpack about lighter and mosquito spray being confiscated as fire danger. For meager admin fee of 835DKK I can have them both back. OKAY I thought, may be not. Keep it.
Strangely Frankfurt airport didn’t feel so prickly and let it pass, but danish guys were on the spot. I think they even opened the Tranglia burner and inspected it for fuel (it was empty and clean).
They packed everything back nicely so no complaints otherwise. Next time I’ll leave them a note too.

4th surprise: A sizeable supermarket right across the street from airport selling almost everything you might need for a hike. I bought 1ltr of spiritus for fuel and a lighter for 20DKK to compensate for confiscated one. Last time in Iceland getting spiritus proved to be a problem, I had to scavenge at the huts.

Despite noticeable portion of backpackers on the flight, I seemed to be the only one heading to the trail with the rest waiting for transfer to other places.

Yeah, I am on the right way to Sisimiut!

Greenland Fly
The Fearsome Greenland Fly turned out to be a small and somehow elegant pitch-black fly (I thought it’s was curiously very black, like vantablack) that looked quite innocent, until one of it landed on my arm (OH HOW CUTE, I thought) and sucked a drop of blood in what seemed to be like half a second. The bite swelled and itched in a strong and rather pleasant way for several days. I was then just scratching it for pleasure now and then (oh yeah!)

Having read reports I hoped to take THE taxi (there is only one in Kangerlussuaq), however it happened to be broken on the day, so I headed to Kellyville and so to the start of the ACT on foot.

Around half-way a driver stopped by and offered a ride – he brought me right to the trail head and saved me about 8km of walking.
In general people were quite friendly.

There was no good water for the stretch from Kangerlussuaq airstrip to the start of ACT, good that I hitched.

Start of the trail, about 14km west to Kangerlussuaq

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Movie of the Week: Destination Wedding

I watched it on a plane after hearing a reviewer on the radio (RadioX, of course) say “and what’s really weird, this rom-com IS NOT FUNNY at all!”.

I was literally rolling on the floor laughing, it was THAT hilarious. I had tears in my eyes! I had to bite my tongue!

(or is it the “airplane air”? last time I watched something equally funny during the flight didn’t seem that funny at all as I re-watched back home)

The lady in Destination Wedding makes the same quirky expressions as a few women I know. She practiced. I think I just connected with her.

This dialog below alone is… priceless..

Amazon reviews of this movie are enlightening as well.

P.S. I just had to add the scene below for my future amusement.
“I prosecute companies and institutions for culturally insensitive actions or speech”

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Failed.

I failed miserably.

I carried on more or less diligently until 8. January noon.

Then I fell sick with a bad flu.

Some part of me was glad: of course I gorged on stuff I’ve been prohibiting myself the last.. wait.. the last 19 days (WOW, I thought its been AT LEAST a month).

My family blamed my sudden demise to the diet. I couldn’t disagree.

So as of tomorrow I will do my best to start it again.

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Day 9 – Highlight: I forgot day 8

Day 8 was bad, at the end of it I was tired, and, being quite despondent, I ate two apples and one cookie, being prepared to be ashamed of this immediately afterwards.

The apples were so delicious!

It didn’t make me feel better though. Later I dragged myself to the gym, what takes me 40 minutes, took about 1.5 hours that day. Ever saw a three-clawed sloth bench press? That was me yesterday.

….

About two years ago I went to the doctor, and complained about feeling somewhat less energetic and in overall being somehow disinclined to do work of any kind. After doing a few tests he proclaimed that he doesn’t immediately see anything alarming, nor in any way unusual in my physiology and suggested some polite trivialities as a remedy.

His looks were however saying something along the lines of “Get the f*ck outta here”.

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Day 7 – A week has passed and I am still kicking – Report

A week has passed since that memorable day.. which was.. about 7 days ago.. when I decided to start my life anew.. and.. and it hasn’t changed much; its just that my happiness and my joy are all gone. Gone are those days where I could binge on anything I liked, be it a fresh brioche, pack of caramel mousse or a toast with raspberry marmalade..all gone.

During this week I’ve eaten probably 1 metric ton less sugar than before.

Pros:

  • Somehow higher energy levels (yay!), and definitely less of a roller-coaster ride during the day
  • Somehow better sleep
  • Significantly less plastic waste as I skip on all the tasty stuff in shiny packaging (/crying outloud/)
  • I eat two times per day and not 5 because I just can’t handle eating fat more often. I’m not sure thats a Pro..
  • If I’d have a dog, it’d think it were in heaven. I don’t like dogs and will never have one

Contras:

  • I’m suffering each time I see other people eat candy
  • I’m suffering each time I think about other people eating candy
  • Caffeine apparently stopped working. Drank some thick espressos to no perceptible effect altogether. Earlier it was different: in rare cases it made me relaxed and clear-minded, but mostly it made me stupid, irritable and mildly diarrhoeic. Probably because my guts are now lined with all that fat shit healthy MCT oils and organic bio produce
  • I’m pooping like a goat
  • Eating out is painful, its like being a hipster but worse (“Oh how many carbs does this have, in grams per portion? Can I have this without sauce, please? Its just I am on the keto diet you see. Keto stands for ketogenic. Like all fat. All right I’ll take the burger, just replace fries with organic goat cheese and I’d have the crushed cumin with it. And don’t even talk to me about dessert!”)

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Day 5 – 96h – Its improving

I actually didn’t hate life that much today, I even did some bicycling. How nice!

Right now at 5pm I am feeling a bit sore and my head aches, but that’s not unusual for me to have after biking for a few hours.

The urge to stuff my belly with cookies, jelly beans, chocolate bars,
sweet condensed milk, raw honey dough, eggs mixed with sugar (oh man I should stop writing this NOW) is manageable – when not provoked.

Luck having it, I may actually pull this off this time!!

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Day 4 – 72h

Similar to yesterday, I am awfully tired, irritable and morose. Coffee doesnt help much.

But I didnt give up yet!

My feet felt too warm during the night, i didnt sleep well. I had this last time when I was a boy.

I was wondering if a too low glucose level in the brain can also erase long-term memory like learned skills, languages, or names.

Is it like computer RAM, that needs uninterrupted electricity supply or its content is lost?

I imagined a society where life would be like that. You forget to eat a banana before sleep – whoops and you dont remember where you work on waking up. Breakfast too late – your foreign language is gone! Didnt make it to grocery in time – good luck if you still remember how to walk.

Employers would have to test workers every morning and assign tasks to them as to their current ability. The best firms would structure the work packages to include required training beforehand so that anyone could do it.